the goddess notebook

the path of healing

For the past few years I have been on a journey of exploration, spirituality and enlightenment.  One thing that is clear to me, is that there is no "arrived" point as I had once assumed but instead, an unfolding of layers of knowing, healing and truth that is continually revealed when we are ready for each new "remembering" of who we really are.

And a funny thing has happened along the way.

In the midst of healing old beliefs, old paradigms and old wounds something rather ironic occurred.  Yesterday, I got a call from my doctor about a very suspect result that is showing all the medical indicators of precancerous cells and the flurry of invasive tests, treatment and the prevention full-court-press action that is now suggested. 

How interesting.

One might think that all this healing work would have prevented such an occurrence but it would seem, I have manifested the opposite.

I remain in curiosity about all this and here is the part I am celebrating.

I feel remarkably calm.  Remarkably centred and remarkably sure that I will be writing another note about my remarkable healing very, very soon.

I just thought I would share my peaceful moment.
Beth

what sandboxes are you playing in?

I simply love this question because sandboxes immediately take you to a place of play.  A place of child-like wonder.  A place of creativity and a place of having fun.  When we apply this idea of being playful, creative and fun to our "work", well you start to get an idea of where this idea is going.  What if our work felt like hanging out in a sandbox?

I think that would be a good thing but how easy is it to put into practice?

We often hear that work should feel like play but I often catch myself separating the two.  Getting some work done and then planning some play.  Or having some play and then getting 'back to work'.  Either way, I often do not see them as co-existing partners that might happen at the same time.  But what If I could?  What if we all could?

Sounds kind of...well...fun!

Consider trying the following exercise...

Step 1: Make a little list.

List your most important realms of your life (family, career, money, health, relationships, spirituality etc...) and give them your personal sandbox rating between 1-10 (1 being no fun being had here and 10 an over-the-top fun zone)

Step 2: Get a little curious.

Notice which areas seem to boast a particularly low sandbox score and pick three you would like to raise the fun factor in.

Step 3: Inject a little fun.

A sandbox isn't complicated and neither should your life be.  Start small.  Pick one thing you could do that would add some playfulness in each of your three most important areas to you and watch what happens.  Hint: the more outrageous the fun you inject, the more noticeable your results!

With all the press about The Secret and The Law of Attraction these days the phrase "everything is energy" is becoming the new buzz words but we can get awfully serious about this manifestation stuff.  I know I can for sure and chances are I might have some company in this arena.

I hope you join me.

Consider this your official invitation to get out your bucket and think of your whole life as a  bunch of sandboxes you get to play in. 

Everyday you choose to.

clutter-busting

This morning I woke up feeling crappy.

I knew it wasn't because of the summer cold I had manifested although it certainly wasn't helping my mood any.  It was the other "c" word that was really bothering me far worse than the common cold: CLUTTER.  It just seems to be everywhere.  In our house.  In our  yard.  In my office.

Not to sound like an excuse but we do live in a very small space for two kids, two parents and one cat (the dog at least lives outside).  756 square feet of small space to be exact and this morning every inch of it appears to have a pile of something on it.

And it feels like a while lotta work to restore it to any sort of zen, feng shui or breathable space.

This was where this crappy feeling was coming from.  And in the words of Popeye when he had reached his limit "I can't stands it no more!"

So as I survey my surroundings, I attempt to coach myself.  I choose to let go of the judgment I am having that a life coach would allow her space to get so messy and trust that I have material brewing for another article on that topic.  But not today.

So I ask myself "self....what would you say to a client has this challenge?"

Good question.

I squirm at the obviousness of the answer. The truth is a bummer at times but I know it can also set you free so I say to myself:

"I would say, can you do one thing that would make you feel better about your space?"

Just one thing?  The place is a mess.

"Well, make sure that one thing is small enough to feel easy and significant enough to shift your energy form overwhelmed to accomplished"

And there it is.

I haven't even started my one thing and already I feel better. Lighter.  I am still fantasizing about the clean sweep people knocking on my door and detailing my space but for now, I have a plan.  I am motivated, inspired and relieved all at once.

How about you?

Is there an area of your life that feels kind of crappy?  Maybe you are avoiding something that seems really nasty and your imagination is really having a ball with it.  Maybe today is the day you shift the energy  into your court.  Do one thing in the direction you want your life to be about. Clean, clutter-free or something else.

Just do it.  Then write to me and tell me how it went and we can celebrate together!

loving the drought

How to LOVE the drought 

(Especially on the days when you are convinced your ship is never coming in)

Has your life ever felt a bit droughty?  Dry?  Parched? Or Lifeless?  Perhaps your bank account has seen more than its share of prolonged periods of drought.  Funny how this happens at the most inopportune times.  Uncanny really.  Maybe your career, your relationship or your sex life has a desert feel to it.  Usually at one point we experience a drought in some area of our life.  Sometimes it feels like all areas and like a thirsty plant, we go searching for water.  Trouble is when we don’t find water right away we revert to our primal instinct otherwise known as: panic.  This is not a happy place.  But is it?  Could it be? 

Is there such a thing as a good time for a drought?  Well, yes.  And here’s why.  Have you ever experienced the joy of a beautiful plant that you lovingly watered, caressed and cared for only to notice it’s leaves starting to droop, yellow and fall off?  Have you ever loved a plant to death with too much water?  If you have then you learned the hard way that plants do not thrive on over- watering because excessive watering leads to soggy roots and soggy roots are just a step away from rotting roots and you know how the story ends from here. 

Ironically, the key to plant growth is in the not watering of it.

When you allow a plant to dry out an amazing thing happens.  It’s roots wake up as if to say “hey, it is getting a little dry around here we better send out a search party”.  And out the party goes.  The roots of your plant begin to search and stretch outward seeking the nourishment it needs in order to grow into that beautiful show piece you love to have in your space.  This is key.  The plant knows when it needs water and of course, all plants are different. (for those of you who water every Thursday, you might want to reconsider.  The basic rule is this:  when the soil gets dry, give it a good watering.  Then step away from the plant and let it do its thing.

What does all this biology have to do with your life?  Everything of course.  Every good metaphor should in fact.  So here is how to apply the science of plants to your life.  A drought is a good thing.  Maybe even the best thing to promote growth in the very area that is looking parched from your perspective.  Because when you are in a drought, chances are you are looking for nourishment.  Stretching yourself.  Evolving the very roots of who you are.  Problem is, when we notice we are in this desert kind of place we run around asking “when is it ever going to rain?”  We are convinced we will simply die if we don’t get some water and of course, the law of attraction works here too.  With all this focusing on dying…you guessed it.  We do.  Metaphorically speaking.  For some of us, real things die though.  Our relationship ends.  Our business goes under.  Our health falls apart or the worst death of all, we lose faith in our ability to create the rain.

The solution is simple: love the drought.

If you are familiar with the work of Byron Katie, then you have heard the expression “loving what is” but what do you do when “what is” is really terrible?  What if “what is” is painful, stressful or down right awful?  Very drought-like.  The first good news is to know that all those are judgements from your ego-fear-monger-mind that is ready and willing to take you out of the game.  The prosperity game which you are meant to win.  The whole game is rigged in fact.  Did you know that we are ALL meant to win at the prosperity game?  It’s true. We just assumed if some of us were winning, it automatically means that the other of us must be on the losing team.  Not true.  God rigged it so we all get to win and how we do that is stop judging that we think we are losing.  For in the moment we think that, we actually start to lose.  This is very depressing for God who went to all that trouble of stacking the deck so that wouldn’t happen but our zealous for over-thinking things constantly gets in the way.  If this is you, consider this your official invitation to stop doing that. Today.

And start loving the drought.

The painful, awful, terrible, wonderful drought.  The drought is always a sign that growth is at hand not death.  It is the perfect back drop in which to practise the most liberating strategy we can offer to getting what you want.  Especially if what you want is rain.  And that strategy is called SURRENDER.

And it looks like this.

Step 1:  Write down everything you are believing to be true about your situation.  Do not stop writing until you have at least 2 pages of ego-mind-drought-hating ranting.  Do not be alarmed if you are mortified by what you write.  It is not you.  It is your ego to speak the better.

Step 2: Now, cross out everything that is not true.  This is also a good time to reach for Byron Katie’s “the work” and ask yourself these two questions whenever you are not sure if you should cross it out:

Is that true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

Chances are fairly high it isn’t.  By the time you are done, you likely will not have a sentence left unscathed by your red pen.  This is a good thing.  It means you have successfully sifted yourself and amongst all the silt, dirt and gunk, you have found some gold.  The truth nuggets left behind.  And those nuggets might even be, nothing you wrote was true.  You are now ready for step 3.

Step 3: Love what is.  Stop resisting the drought.  Give up all your fears, doubts, worries and judgements that drought is “bad” and assign the responsibility of the weather back to its rightful owner: God.  Say hello to your new director of marketing, healing and prosperity.  The drought is a sign that it’s time for you to step down from that position.  And while you are hanging out in the desert, put on your sun glasses, feel the warm dry, wind on your face and trust that the nourishment your roots are seeking is on its way.

Because it is only when we stop aching, begging, crying for rain that it rains. 

When we learn to love the drought.

there is a bear above my office

I am little cranky this morning.  Our dogs started barking at 4:30am and would not stop.  They usually get excited if a deer is wandering about and choosing to eat a little too close to our house for their liking but this morning, the dogs were carrying on with such insistence, we all had to get up and check it out.  Lo and behold, there perched above my detached office is a fuzzy, wussy, lots of shiny hair, big, black bear.  Naturally, the batteries for my digital camera were charging so I can offer no proof of this event, but you will just have to take my word for it.  Quite a site.

This, of course, got me thinking...

Not so much about bears and what can happen when you live in a forest but about my connection with the natural world.  This bear thing made me realize that I have been a little disconnected from nature lately.  Spending a whole lot of time at my computer or wearing my headset.  Thanks to this bear visit, I am renewing my commitment to spend at least 15 minutes, outside, listening.  Connecting.  But not too close to black things if I can help it.

But, in the spirit of being one with the bear today, I might also have a nap this afternoon too...

my summer reading book recommendation

Summer is coming.  We know this because all the "get your body bikini ready" articles are plastered on every magazine.  Around this time of year I start looking for lighter reading.  Summer reading.  Nothing that can necessarily help me but just is a good story to find a beach and read it at.  I thought my summer book would be kind of Maeve Binchy-ish. I definitely thought it would be fiction but I was wrong. 

My summer reading recommendation is Eat, Pray, Love by Elisabeth Gilbert.  This funny, raw, poignant, moving true story is for any woman who has ever experienced regret, depression, divorce, shame, loss or has longed to find inner peace with the added bonus of having a divine experience along the way.  I love, love, love this book and frankly, was sad when I finished it however I am left with its lingering inspiration for deepening my own spirituality and writing.

Go get it.

Then tell me how much you loved it (or even if you don't but I cannot imagine it)

my 81-year-old friend

Well it's Thursday and as usual, I was back teaching pole walking.  Tonight my clinic was a clinic of one - an amazing woman named Terri.  Terri's real name is actually Millicent but she has always gone by Terri.  I call her Terri but secretly I think of her as Millicent anyway because Millicent is a character in one of my daughter's books and in this book Millicent is magnificent.  A lot like my new friend Terri.

Terri is 81 years old and in the two walks we have had together I know a bit about her already.  She lives alone as her husband - Bob - of 56 years died last December.  She loves to garden, golf, play tennis and travel. She has three children and adores her grand children.  She recently just got back from the states and doesn't understand why blacks and whites in the south still live segregated lives.  She doesn't like to cook anymore but is grateful for M & M who make it easy. 

We spent a lot of time tonight talking about Bob.  She said he spoiled her and when asked how she said, "he cooked breakfast for me every day, never forgot my birthday and always brought me Roger's chocolates at least three times a year - Christmas, our anniversary and my birthday".  She told me the hardest part about Bob being gone is "it is not just that he is away for two weeks". "The house is so empty and it is not going to change".  Bob died when he was 86 and I got the feeling that Terri figures she has about that long too and the thought of cooking for one for the next fives years is not all that appealing.

There is something about Terri that is quite wonderful.  A vibrancy and spunk that people half her age can lack.  As we walked together  I got the feeling that I could learn a lot from having an 81 year old friend like Terri.  As we left tonight we made plans to walk again next week.  I waved as she drove off when suddenly she leans out of her window and asks:

"Do you want to go kayaking?  I have two!"

See what I mean?

Millicent the magnificent.

maya angelou

A woman

in harmony

with her spirit

is like

a river flowing.

She goes

where she will

without pretense

and arrives

at her destination,

prepared

to be herself

and

only

herself.

Maya Angelou

together is better

There is something that happens when women gather together that is just good.  Whether it be for food, for wine, for exercise or going to the bathroom, it is just more fun with a friend.  And particularly if that friend is a woman.

This, I notice, is also true when woman decide to grow.

On Monday, I launched a new briefcase goddess - aka women who work - coaching group, and on the call was a representative from eastern Canada, western Canada and all the way to Nebraska.  Far flung goddesses geographically but connected in a mutual quest to have lives of joy, lives of purpose and lives that are easy.

Easy is good.

Joy is fantastic.

My wish for all woman is that they have both and the easiest way I know to having it is by being connected.  Today, I am grateful for the connections I have. My family, my friends, my colleagues, my clients, the animals in my charge and for the amazing world of technology that makes it possible for me to stay connected. 

Hurray for Google, gmail, ichat, webmail, telus and typepad!

PS

If you want to get connected to a group of briefcase goddesses, contact me.  You are welcome at our next virtual gathering.

taking a minute

Today I watched a Dad drop off his kids while I waited with my own kids for their bus.  The place I was waiting in is a bustling kid drop off zone with cars zipping in and out, barely slowly down and kids laden with backpacks jumping out to do their thing with parents zipping in the other direction to do theirs.  Everyone that is except for this Dad.

They pulled up and the Dad turned around to speak to his two young daughters.  I do not know what he said but I do know is that he did not say it quick.  I watched his older daughter in the back seat listening and then she smiled.  A huge smile and then hugged her Dad.  Then the other daughter did the same and a few more words were exchanged.  Then they got out of the car. I figure the whole exchange took an extra 60 seconds than anyone else's drop off this morning but not every kid I saw  had the look these two girls had.  It was a look of contentment.  A slowed down, take your time, my Dad loves me version of happy.

Happy kids is a good thing. 

And definitely worth taking an extra minute for today.

This of course got me thinking which led me to blogging a bit about this whole time thing.  We often ask ourselves "where did the time go?" but do we really stop to plan the minutes of our day?

I think minutes matter.  A lot can be done in a minute - a hug, a kiss, a linger, an email, a phone call, a text message, a dog pet, a snack eaten, a bill paid, a paper filed, a letter addressed, an affirmation read, a moment of silence.  All good ways to spend a minute.

Take a minute. 

Then write to me about how you chose to spend it.